Don't Touch That Dial
by Val-Creative
Summary: Wally eyed his reflection in the full length mirror with semi-greed. "Dude, I'm…" His abnormally bow-shaped and soft-looking mouth twitched up. "I'm -hot-." /Cracky. A tiny bit of RobinxKF. Oneshot.


_x.x.x_

"—_There_!" Kid Flash exaggeratedly patted his hands of invisible dust, and grinned over the moaning, ski-masked goon. "Mission over," he announced, scooping up an ornate, gold-filigree black box.

"It's not over yet," Robin argued, fingers clicking rapid-pace between three keyboards to the Jenolan Cave's tech system on meltdown mode. Digitalized green and red Robin faces popped up, _buzzing_ and _pinging_ and making a variety of other really loud noises — that Kid Flash was sure if the computer could make its own judgment call, would destroy itself out of insanity — and that would appear to be the case as the computer system flickered to the infamous Blue Screen of Death before shutting down.

"…Now is it over?"

Robin cracked his knuckles, eyeing the black-colored smoke twirling in the airspace. "Just go help tie up the bad guys," he said. Kid Flash glanced over his shoulder casually at Aqualad and Superboy roping together what remained of the other goons (other than the one still moaning at his feet _who totally got his butt handed to him, _thank you very much), and Miss M floating towards the others.

"They've got it under control," Kid Flash with similar disinterest to Robin's tone, and cradled the black box under his left armpit. "Besides I gotta protect this baby from any slippery fingers."

Artemis scowled nearby. "Guess what, it's not getting added to your collection of crap you call souvenirs, Baywatch. It's going to _evidence_." Kid Flash sneered at her.

"Says _you."_

"She's right, KF. In fact, I think it's better you let it go now before you get too attached to it."

Seeming to be on the same page as Robin, or maybe just looking for an excuse to butt heads with the speedster some more, Artemis dove out to snatch the box from Kid Flash — only to be taunted with snickering and having the sixteen-year-old boy zip away to the other end of the limestone cave. This continued until she did manage to aggressively knock it _out_ _of his hands_ and straight onto the jagged rocks of the cave floor. The hinge of the box's filigreed lid split open, and its contents spilled out — a piece of dirtied, yellowed parchment and a handheld, old-fashioned telephone dial.

"Nice going, you gu—" Robin's cutting remark trailed off when Kid Flash's slowly bugging eyes behind his goggles stared down at the parchment. Astonished. "—… …What is it, KF?"

Kid Flash dropped down into a kneeling position, holding up the parchment and exposing what was scrawled over it to more light.

_/3x2(9YZ)4A/_

His voice shook.

"It's the mathematical formula for tapping into the Speed Force."

Artemis crossed her arms, frowning in uncertainty. "The…_what _force?"

"It's a dimension of energy force. The energy force that sustains my power and Flash's… or so Flash thinks," Kid Flash explained with a little more steadiness, and as he did, Robin's masked expression darkened into a glower that eerily resembled his mentor's. "It's supposed to be like an origin myth or something. Flash thinks—and the previous Flash too—that if someone recited this formula with the full understanding of what it could do, they would be able to gain abilities like ours… hypothetically, without having to change into a metahuman."

"I don't like this. Why would a special ops squad in Australia make a big deal about destroying this thing?" Robin turned his caped back to the other two and tapped his comm.-link. "I'm calling it in."

Artemis tilted her head, peering over Kid Flash's shoulder. " '_Dial H for Hero_…' Some kind of riddle?" she mused when he flipped over the parchment for that set of words. "But it's broken, right?"

Kid Flash shrugged, gloved hands picking up the dial for examination. "Find out in a minute." The tips of his fingers poked into the lettered holes, pushing and spelling "_H-E-R-O_—"

And suddenly, a choking amount of sparking, violently blue mist appeared in the place Kid Flash had once been with a _POOF_!. It would hilarious if the sparking wasn't so _dangerously bright_ and the smell of the mist wasn't so acrid and questionable. Artemis felt a shocked, strangled cry escape her, and then, the air leave her lungs as someone grabbed her from behind to push her chest down to the smoother surface of cave floor. Robin held her down tightly, pressing a foldable oxygen mask dangling from his utility belt to her face as he yelled for Kid Flash to answer him.

The mist only continued sparking as a response and Robin's chest heaved silently against her back. The rest of their team rushed over as the mist dissipated in small portions.

A teenage girl — no more than Kid Flash's height — knelt in his place, pale with fear and gripping the 'broken' dial to her moderately sizable chest _taut_ against the leather material of the red-and-yellow uniform, red goggles slightly obscured by the thick, yellow spirals of long hair pressing out from her cowl.

Superboy broke the uncomfortable silence with a confused grunt. Artemis breathed, fogging the interior of the oxygen mask, "…Daaaaaang."

_x.x.x_

Robin knocked on Miss M's closed bedroom door, only imagining what damage was being done to her neat and tidy space. Miss M had been the only girl on the team of the two willing to let the 'new' Kid Flash — _Wally_, or 'Wallina', or whatever he was going by — ransack through a closet to find some suitable clothing, and probably undergarments.

Oh, crud, Wally was going through Miss M's underwear drawer. Robin knocked more insistently.

"_Yeah, I said come in already_!"

Definitely couldn't hide the girly shriek.

Robin cackled to himself, tossing open the bedroom door and leaving it open, swing one leg over a desk chair as he seated himself, cape draping behind him.

"How does it feel to not only be suspended from missions for two months but to be publicly humiliated by Batman in front of everyone and Black Canary and your uncle?"

Wally eyed his reflection in the full length mirror with semi-greed. "Dude, I'm…" His abnormally bow-shaped, soft mouth twitched up. Cerulean eyes narrowed under full eyelashes. "I'm _hot_."

Robin sighed, thudding his forehead against the back of the chair.

"…And you don't care that much apparently." He questioned, "You still have your powers…?"

"Of course I do. All I have to do is think about the formula." Wally insisted with an apathetic wave of his slimmer hand, and tugged experimentally on a handful of blonde hair on his shoulder, "And Barry should be throwing me a freakin' party. I _found_ the damn formula he's been talking about." He stepped back from the mirror, raising an eyebrow and cupping the sweater space underneath his large breasts, the awestruck look not quite faded from his glorious image. "Would you do me?" Wally murmured, the tip of his tongue sweeping his upper lip, "I'd do me. I'd do me _hard_."

Robin smirked. Oh wow. This was going to get old fast. "Maybe you should change your alias to something else… like 'Jesse Quick'."

Wally dropped his hands. "You know…" He gazed at the other boy seriously. "I always wanted to have a lesbian experience." His very blue eyes peeked up as Miss M and Superboy passed in the corridor, the alien girl hovering off the ground and waving to both Wally and Robin who waved back automatically. Wally beamed, starting for the open door. "Hello Meg_aa~aaa_n!"

Robin caught his delicate-feeling wrist. _Eugh_. Weird. "Don't even think about it," he told Wally, staring up at him pointedly.

An obviously mocking leer on Wally's newly kissable-looking lips. _Eugh_. Weird thoughts. "You want me to yourself or somethin'?"

The acrobat hoisted himself in the chair to level his face to his companion's.

Wally blinked, leaning away a little.

"You look weird without freckles," Robin observed dimly.

"…_Your _face looks weird."

"Your mom's face looks weird."

Wally prodded his shoulder lightly with his index finger, grinning. _Pretty_. "Don't be disrespecting my mother, Wonder Squirt."

"I've never punched a girl in the ovaries before." Robin's grin mirrored his in enthusiasm. "I guess punching you wouldn't be much of a difference."

"Just don't punch me in the boobs," Wally said, pouting faintly. "I kinda like them."

Robin began, "Do you even have the female anatomy to…?" Wally's unfreckled, peach-skinned face lit up furtively.

"…You checked," he affirmed warily. Wally bit his thumbnail, still grinning.

"_Ffffff_— oh yeah…"

There was no mistaking that glee.

Robin sat back in the desk chair, revealing the dial into the open (where he was keeping it the entire time was a question best not pursued).

"Well, Batman explained how to turn you back so we—"

He shook his head, yellow spirals slapping his cheeks. "No way!" Wally said, ticking up a slim finger, "I'm not changing back until I've had at least _one_ lesbian experience, alright!"

Robin shoved back the chair with an aggravated groan and an unseen eye roll behind his mask.

"You better make this good," he said threateningly before disappearing into Miss M's walk-in closet. A moment of silence.

_POOF!_.

Curls of sparking mist across the carpet. And then…

_Helloo~oooo~_

Wally's jaw dropped as a very long-limbed, spry girl in Robin's uniform leaned with one arm to the top of the closet door, the bob-cut of her straight, dark hair curled slightly to her right cheek. He blabbered out, and the girl gave him a very smug and Robin-like smile before squeaking aloud at her hand being robbed into Wally's, _"Dude..dude..you..are..the..best...ever..let's..do..this..right..now_—!"

_x.x.x_

* * *

><p><em>- Speed Force does not exist in the YJ cartoon universe, so says Greg. But I played and twisted with that knowledge a bit.<em>

_- M'gann's clothes she has are usually just formed on her body but I'm sure she would own some for the hell of it. Why not?  
><em>

- _Jesse Quick is a DC character and some of her powers were results of her Dad teaching her the Speed Force formula. Wally's female appearance in this is based on her own._

- _"Dial H for Hero" is a comic series based on a character who could adapt superhero powers of superheroes nearby. He could become "Jesse Quick" when he was around Kid Flash. I almost wrote him instead but decided it would be fun if Wally could work the dial and accidentally be turned into "Jesse Quick"… or not so accidentally. XDD Lulzzz._

_- Anyone catch the Clerks II reference?  
><em>

- _No girly pornz. Bwahahahaha. We can all pretend it was one of the most awkward and giggly moments of their long friendship. And Robin still tops when they are both girls.  
><em>

_ - I recommend listening to "You Sexy Thing (I Believe In Miracles)" by Hot Chocolate especially for the second section. xD_


End file.
